Take a leaf out of Kathleen Turner’s book: Send yourself roses, remember you’re special

On Valentine’s Day, I wrote about the release of actress Kathleen Turner’s book: “Send Yourself Roses: Thoughts on My Life, Love and Leading Roles,” amazon.com, co-written with Gloria Feldt.

In the book, Turner talks about her childhood and family, her 20-year marriage and recent separation, motherhood, activism and giving back, her struggle with rheumatoid arthritis, alcohol-dependency, and relaunching her stage career after decades in the movies.

She also reveals what is was like to work with Jack Nicholson, Michael Douglas, William Hurt, Steve Martin, Francis Ford Coppola, John Huston, John Waters and Edward Albee.

Here’s an excerpt and some good advice from Turner:

“Before an opening performance, when I am feeling like I really need an affirmation, I’ll send myself a big bouquet of roses. Why not? Why should I wait around and hope that someone else will send me roses? If someone does, that’s delightful, and I will receive them with pleasure. But if no one does, I won’t have to be blue. I will provide for my emotional needs just as I provide for my material needs. If I don’t treat myself well, if I don’t show my belief in myself, how can I expect anyone else to? …

Cajun Sunrise Rose

"I always try to do something nice for myself after I finish a play or a film. I’d like to share some of the ways I have learned through experience to make my life as rich and full as possible.

"Sometimes solitude is the greatest gift I can give myself. The quietness, the space and the time to be with my thoughts, or just to be have become quite precious. My days get eaten up with busy-ness if I let them. I have to consciously plan to give myself the gift of solitude. Time alone recharges my spirit and mind. Time away from the usual fray is even better. …

"I like to do silly things alone, too, like walking around [New York City], watching people, just being part of it. I like to stop in at little restaurants I have never seen before. And I love to read at a meal. So I go off alone with a book and read and eat someplace I’ve never eaten before. … Even when I was young and poor and just starting out in New York, I’d find some way to give myself a gift once a week, like taking a cab instead of the bus, or buying a single rose even when I couldn’t afford the whole bouquet.

"It doesn’t have to be a big expensive thing. Just something to make sure you remember that you’re special, because you can get pretty downtrodden. You have to celebrate yourself. And giving yourself a little affirmation helps you shake off the many slings and arrows we all get from our critics every day."

(The Cajun Sunrise Rose, shown above, is courtesy of the American Rose Society.)

Jacqueline - Editor

February 28, 2008

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